Holiday Spirit, Funerals, and Everything in Between

So much has happened in the past 20 days since my last blog and i dont even know where to start. My schedule has suddenly exploded and I find myself busy everyday. In the beginning I was a never ending state of boredom with my lack of khmer skills and absolutely no direction in the health center. Things were bleak for a while and I was in a crappy mood. Over the past month I find that completely nonexistent as I am running from here and there and studying this and that. What I used to be aggravated with has now become part of daily life, although new frustrations continue to pop up from time to time. In the past I used to worry about dogs and being bitten with rabbis ridden teeth and saliva, but now I just take my helmet off and swing away until they scamper back into their compounds... problem solved! Over the past couple of weeks my new aggravation has been the young ones that scatter every household. Sure, they are cute and smaller than some of the cow patties I have seen strewn all over the roads, but their demeanor and lack of sensible respect (for kids their age) is astounding. I know children in America and all over the world cry about many things and throw tantrums left and right, but there is something about these kids that really gets under my skin. I have always loved kids and cant wait to have some of my own, but after being here Im having second thoughts. The ear piercing scream that eminates from kids every fifteen minutes seems all too normal and is treated passively by parents. When a kid doesn't get the food he wants or the marble he wants to play with, an ear drum numbing yell bursts out of the mouth and is simply solved by giving the kid what he wants. There are no consequences or repercussions for their actions... they are taught that if I scream I will get what I want. It is understandable for kids up to 3 years old, but beyond that it gets to be a little ridiculous. As I have written this paragraph in the past 5 minutes there have been 3 outbursts of extreme crying and I can bet it was because one of their siblings had something the kid wanted. Again, I know it happens all over the world, its a simple fact of nature that they don't know any better, but the aggravating part is that the parents know its wrong and do nothing about it. I'm thinking a parenting class is in order for these people... hmmm... secondary project?

So thats my current aggravation. Don't mean to give off an impression that I don't love every minute of life here cause I do! Over the past month I have become extremely integrated into my family, friends, and co-workers. A little after my last blog my grandmother died and the events that were to follow will be with me forever. That was the first time I really felt absolutely part of the family and accepted as one of them. the night before her death my mom thought it would be nice for me to go visit her mom and I don't know how the timing happened the way it did, but thankfully I got to meet her while she was alive. We traveled to my grandparent's house and it was tucked away in the slaw trees that cover my village. It had an expansive backyard and an impressive front structure. The trees around their house were just a tad bit taller than the ones surrounding my house and I immediately got an impression that this house has a long history that includes my mother and her 11 siblings. When I walked in the house the grandmother was laying there in the middle of the living room floor, covered in a blanket up to her curled up hands, with nothing more to her than skin and bone. Her breaths were very labored and she could do nothing but stare up at the ceiling while using every ounce of her strength to breath air into her frail lungs. I asked what was wrong with her and apparently she had old lady disease... not sure what that is but I hope no one I know contracts it. She hasnt been able to talk or move for about 2 years and stopped walking 5 years ago. I couldn't help but to be overtaken by sadness and the sight of such a dilapidated state this women was being allowed to live in. Doctors haven't been able to cure her so basically she was there to live out the rest of her life on that living room floor.

After waking up the next morning I was confronted by my mom and told that her mother had died literally 5 minutes before I woke up... again.... timing. I knew from that moment that the next week was going to be hectic and busy, as Cambodians focus alot of time and energy into these types of occasions. I could already hear the funeral music and it can only be described as a cluster f#%@ of different sounds and screeching. I have been told it is to scare away the ghosts and I can see how that would be affective. It starts at 5 in the morning every other day and doesn't stop till 10 or 11 at night. Funerals are a week long in Cambodia so I definitely hear that sound alot. They attach huge speakers to the top of coconut trees so everyone can hear it. Anyways... that morning I made my way over to my grandparents house were they had already erected the usual colorful tent with white and black drapes. I waited around downstairs with the family, but I was definitely nervous at taking part in something like this. I am not really apart of their family so I didn't want to intrude, but they were very receptive to me being there and were very appreciative of my presence. Finally a line of monks arrived and chanted their way upstairs to the living room. I made my way up there eventually and there was the grandmother lying on the floor just as she had the night before. One thing that took me by suprise, over a dead body laying on the floor, was the crying that was occurring. This country is very secretive over their emotions and do not let tears go in the open. They dont show love, affection, happiness, or sadness often so when I saw my aunts and uncles tearing up over their mother I was taken aback. We sat there for about 2 hours, chanted, bowed, and prayed to buddha that her soul be reincarnated. Incents filled the room and the smoke made my eyes tear. Mini shrines were erected all over the house and fruit lay at the bottom of each of them. Eventually, after lounging around for a while after, they brought the coffin and it was time to put her in. They lifted her up, placed her gently within, and started to tuck her in with blankets and bamboo mats. They were softly crying while doing this and it was the closest I came to crying during the whole ceremony.

The next day it was time for the funeral procession to the wat. They brought her down and placed her in the middle of the yard where monks started chanting again. It was the last time she would be home and I couldn't help but be overcome with emotion. I had to constantly say to myself, I am here, in the middle of the cambodian jungle, attending a funeral so rich in tradition and culture. Eventually we loaded her onto this funeral truck which was ornately decorated with dragons and buddhist symbols. It was the truck that all the dead are driven around in and it definitely showed its years. We had to push it up hills and out of ditches many times and the creaks eminating from its internal machinery made me not even want to stand behind it. But nonetheless we walked in a crowded procession in front and behind the truck. The immediate family walks in the front while the friends and further family walked behind. Behind us walkers were the moto's that puttered along slowly with thick black smoke pouring out their tail pipes. The walk to the wat was unlike anything I have ever experienced. Whenever I walk around the village I am greeted by throngs of kids screaming HELLO, WHATS YOUR NAME, WHERE YOU GO! It can be a tad obnoxious at times cause mostly they have no idea what it means.. they just want to catch the attention of the white giant. But while walking around the village in this procession, nobody screamed hello and simply stared at me and the procession. People stopped what they were doing, ran to their doors and watched us slowly make our way to the pagoda. It was the first time where I noticed cambodians being considerate of others and it put a smile on face. We finally buried her in a stoopa at the wat, unlike most who are cremated. The entire process was unbelievable and I couldn't believe I was apart of it. My family really took me in and I never felt out of place the entire time. The next week was more music and socializing and on the 7th day after her death they had another large gathering. While the music was deafening and I could barely hear myself think, it changed from annoying to understandable. I guess being apart of it and seeing the music actually has meaning to these people made me realize its not so bad and I kind of think it makes Cambodia that much more khmer when I hear it. The whole experience is something I will treasure for a lifetime and I am forever grateful for being allowed to take part in it.

An activity I have really taken a liking to since coming here is biking. I used to only like having a bike here cause it protected me somewhat from the dogs, but me and a friend have struck up a common interest and take full advantage of having huge rolling plains to bike on. I have racked up several hundred miles already and the ticker is still going. There is nothing like biking in between rice fields that go on for as far as the eye can see and riding through very remote villages few to no foreigners have made it out to. Last weekend I made it out to an island in the middle of the Mekong River that was accessible only by bamboo bridge. Getting there was awesome, but the ride around the island was breathtaking. I have seen my share of beautiful rice fields and Wats, but they never get old. I soak up the sights, sounds, and smells everytime and think to myself at how awesome this experience is. I like to think to myself I have seen the real Kampuchea and mostly because I chose to get my feet wet and bike all around this beautiful country.

Besides the bike rides I have been crazy busy with other things. I am trying to get health lessons going in the school system and have approached school directors about possibly teaching a health class or two. The ones I have talked to were not very pleasant individuals and are clearly very power hungry. Once people have power here they don't like to give it up and he seemed very wary of me, regardless of the fact that my site was a training site and 18 other peace corps volunteers already taught in the school. Anyways... he said he would have to check with the ministry of education so an answer is coming in a month or two I guess. The school system here teaches absolutely no health and if I can get in there and help a teacher teach health for a day then that could go far and wide. Teaching teachers is so much more affective cause they are the ones who will be here after I am gone. If I can get them to integrate health into their curriculum then that would make this whole thing much more worth while. We will see where that path leads.

I am also trying to get a village health volunteer training program started. I want to train kids to teach health so when I am gone, again, I will have someone who is following through with my work. I have been going to schools every night at 5pm and meeting with kids to get my face out there and get them over that initial fear and apprehension most have when meeting a foreigner like me. I have struck up many relationships and many kids all over the village know me. Now I am starting to advertise this program I am trying to get started and I am selling it as a great opportunity to learn English and practice with a true English speaking native. Kids want to learn English, not health, but if I can get them into it with the prospects of invaluable practice and a certificate in the end then maybe some will continue to teach health to others. I also need someone to help me translate khmer cause I am definitely not at the level I need to be to go out and do things on my own. Not only would these kids be able to help me talk to people about hand washing, diarrhea prevention, cold prevention, but they would be learning about health and how to teach it. I start interviews next week so lets hope things really get going soon. For now I am riding around the villages trying to map out the different areas of need. Once that is done I will be able to go out there with the kids and talk health with some villagers. I am making some illustrations so I have posters to work with when I go out there... I guess these artistic skills will finally come into use!

The last major project I have been trying to implement is a number system at the health center. There are many other things wrong with the way the health center is run, but for now I am focusing on organizing the throngs of people that come in through that door every morning. As of now, they come in and crowd around the consultation desk and push and shove until they are seen be the doctor. The doctor who is prescribing drugs is surrounded by patients and there is simply no order to handing out prescriptions. People could be waiting for over an hour when someone who is in a rush barges to the front and gets his or her prescription. Its the same for the anti-natal care room and vaccination room. Its unfair and things are going to change. I have been creating cards for people to pick up at the entrance when they come in and posters that describe what they are to do. I would hand them out myself, but again I need it to last once I am not here so hopefully everyone is on board when I finally start it up. I'm thinking by the end of two years the doctors will actually call out the next number and patients are used to picking up their numbers when they walk it. Also... having a number system will eliminate their fear of loosing their place in line and allow me to pull them aside for a moment or two and talk health with them. Currently they are in too much of a rush to get to the doctor cause they don't want others to get in front of them so they pay no attention to me, other than the kids that scream at the sight of my white foreign face.

Life is good in Cambodia and Christmas is in the air... well... in my room it is. I have always been one to cherish the holidays and being here has been rather hard to endure while all my family and friends are at home enjoying the hot chocolate and pumpkin pie. I have nasty well water that smells like a sewer and yes... lots of rice so needless to say I miss home right about now. I have been expecting this so I am prepared for a tough couple of days ahead of me. I just got a load of girl scout cookies from Lori, Randy, Kyle, Chris, and Zac and I want give a LARGE THANK YOU!!!! I now have something to chow down on while I spend my christmas in the 90 degree heat in Cambodia. I can't begin to say how much I appreciate you all for those notes and cookies... really makes my day! And that goes for everyone who sends me packages. The little things just really brighten my day and when I get package from America I can't help but smile. Love you all and hope all is going well in America! Merry Christmas everyone and I hope your holidays are full of awesomeness!