Wednesday, November 24, 2010

continuation of the tragedy

So another day has passed and I find myself contemplating how similar AND different this culture deals with tragedy when compared to the United States. I first noticed the somber mood of everybody and the traditions that arise during times of nation wide sorrow, but on an individual basis I am seeing how awkward the subject is to talk about. The stampede that took place was without a doubt a horrible thing that people are clearly disturbed from, but certain reactions elicited are starting to surprise me.

When conversing with another Khmer about the stampede they will many times start smiling or laughing at certain things one should not laugh at. When I was discussing 9/11 with my tutor he would giggle when describing planes crashing into buildings and thousands of people dying. Yesterday when my family was discussing the stampede they were taunting ans laughing at me when I was acting so serious. They kept on asking me if I wanted to go see it and would always start snickering. The gravity of such a major event is completely sucked out of the room and they seem to either be oblivious to the enormity of it or simply laugh it off cause they don't know how to express deep sorrow and sadness. Throughout my time here... I am leaning towards the latter.

When people talk about anything serious they will talk with a sense of humor and immaturely giggle. It doesn't feel like they are doing this to make the situation lighter, but it truly seems they don't know how to properly express that human emotion. It is almost awkward because it is almost always something I would never laugh at and there way of bridging our differences in reactions. When I ask them something they don't know, they almost always will giggle like a child instead of expressing their true emotions and thoughts. Giggling and ignoring the serious of a situation is how this culture copes with stress and turmoil, and it is something I definitely cannot comprehend. The people of Cambodia know something horrific happened and they are doing things similar to America when it comes to donating money to disaster relief funds, holding ceremonies to honor the dead, and even changing their facebook profile pics to some honorable image the day they will seemingly never forget. But in essence they are very different on a person to person basis when it comes to personal conversation about the stampede. I guess this is just another difference I will write off as a cultural "thing".

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

tragedy: from one nation to another

I can all too well remember the morning of 9/11, waking to the horrors unfolding on the television that sunny tuesday afternoon. There's nothing that can prepare you for such a tragedy and they come at the most unexpected of times. Seeing a nation cope with loss and sadness is something we all have witnessed time and time again. Unfortunately our generation is used to tragic events in the news and how we as a nation have responded to these times of sorrow never fails to bring out emotions in me and others that don't normally arise during day to day life. After 9/11 our nation was frozen with fear and sadness, but united in determination and patriotism. People came together to mourn for the dead as we typically do in the states, had candlelight vigils after candlelight vigils, and sang patriotic songs. We reflect on the events that transpired and the lives of those that were lost until there are no more tears to cry. Coming to Cambodia the thought never crossed my mind that I would see something like this unfold in the Khmer people. Last night, a tragedy struck the country of Cambodia and I have had the opportunity to see a culture so foreign to mine react just as we do in America, with their own unique twists thrown in here and there.

Last night at around 10pm there was a concert letting out across the river in phnom penh due to the end of the 3 day Khmer Water Festival. Its a time where people celebrate the end of the monsoon season and the mood in Cambodia is one of delight and happiness. As people were enjoying the festive mood they started traveling in hords across this narrow bridge when the opposing hord of people going across in the opposite direction met in the center and caused a mass of people with nowhere to go. Those in the center fainted causing a panic which was further escalated by the bridge apparently swaying and police using measures to force people to move. The crowd went crazy and people started stampeding in an effort to clear the bridge. With nowhere to go they climbed over others, trampling those under their feet to death, jumped in the river even though most in this country do not know how to swim, and grabbed electrical wiring strung all over the bridge which led to many being electrocuted to death. A wall of people formed anywhere from 5-7 feet high, laying on top of each other more tightly packed than a can of sardines. The images are absolutely horrible and in the end 376 people lost their lives, injuring many many more.

The thing about Cambodia is that most families have someone living in the city. The country itself is no bigger than the state of South Dakota so it is relatively small in size. Most have sons or daughters that study in the city and/or brothers or sisters who went to the city for a better life. So when something like this happens, everyone in the country feels affected and saddened by such a tragic event. My family knew around 2am last night, with many other pcv's telling me the same. By morning the whole country knew of this horrible loss of life and Cambodia stopped for a day as it did in America that tuesday morning in 2001. My health center canceled work to my dismay, and people crowded around their television sets. I managed to find a food stall with a group of people sitting in front of a television watching the news and the images displayed were unbelievable. There's no censorship here so they felt it was appropriate to show rooms and rooms of dead people sprawled out on the floor. These people who were enjoying a concert not 5 minutes before being trampled to death or electrocuted were laying there in their phnom penh style clothes motionless with grieving family members crying hysterically over them. I could only stand so much of that sadness that I left after a while, but the images are very haunting and continue to plague my mind.

The rest of the day was devoted to talking about what had transpired. Me and my family would discuss how lucky we are my brother was not there, how many people died, where they came from, ect... The day was eery; people gave off this impression that something bad has just happened and there was a certain subdued nature in the way Cambodians ran life in the village today. At night, people created buddhist shrines in front of there houses and as the sun set, each hut had a shrine devoted to the dead of the night before. At around 7pm everyone came outside to beat on drums for about 25 minutes and from what I gather it was to scare away the ghosts that would surely be roaming the streets. Neighbors gathered to discuss the tragedy, conversing around their shrines. I stood on my porch watching the candle lights flicker through the palm trees, absorbing the quietness this night in particular presented.

As they do in America, people in Cambodia mourn for the dead by coming together and uniting as one. Families, Neighbors, and entire communities are brought together by the unimaginable. People gather around televisions to watch over and over replays of something they wish would have never happened in the first place. Vigils are dedicated to the lives lost and people find solace in their offerings. As interesting as it is to see a nation cope with a tragic loss, I cannot help but feel sad as I would anything other time that many families are having to deal with the unimaginable loss of a loved one over such a senseless event. No matter where you are in the world, tragedies happen and the people who are affected react in a way that is unique not to their culture or country of residence, but to their origins as human beings that have undergone a tragic event.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The People Who Make Kampuchea

There are a variety of people that surround me every day when i'm not cooped up in my room for the remainder of the day. These people make the highs and the lows, they are sources of happiness and frustration, and they are shaping this experience one by one. Here's a look into some of my daily encounters.

The day starts out in the market and depending on my money situation and what I'm feeling for a tasty breakfast the crowd varies. Sometimes I get a dragon fruit and sit on my host mothers stand while peeling away its pink skin to reveal a sweat juicy center full of tiny black seeds. My mom sells nom in the morning with her sister and it is this sweet gelatinous rice snack that always satisfies my sweet spot. While sitting there eating my fruit I will converse with my mom or her sisters always about how much I pay for my breakfast or where I got it... even though the answers never change. The ladies selling around my mothers stand all sell fruit and vegetables and always smile at me as I sit there. The ones with kids will point me out and anything that gets my mom laughing will surely get them laughing also. Anything I say is thought of as funny and I just have learned to go along with it and take their warmness and humor in stride.

When I have a little more money to spend I will head over to my Yay and get a bowl of fried noodles. This lady is basically the boss of all the food venders in the market mainly due to her age and status as a Yay. A Yay is an older lady that has short hair and lives at the local Wat. They are devout Buddhists and will wear this white shirt and sampot most of the time. Anything I could want she will get for me somehow. Shes not the best talker, but always welcoming and I feel good when in her presence. The trainees before me always went to her stand to eat so she and the people around her are used to my white complexion. I tend to get less stares at her stand.. even though they are always present by one or two people who feel the need to look at me like an alien. The lady next to her stand sells these beef and bean sprout filled crepes with a sweet sugar sauce and even though she laughs at everything that comes out of my mouth from the hello to the thank you's... she is kind and I always enjoy spending my 15 minutes eating breakfast in her presence.

After breakfast its off to the health center where the crowd I am confronted with differs on a day to day basis. The staff are getting very used to my presence and always make me feel welcomed. There is a male nurse that always treats me like I'm annoying mostly cause I don't know the language yet and don't do a whole lot during my working hours, but I'm sure he will eventually warm up as I get better with Khmer... right? The pharmacist is the lady who I spend a great deal of time around. She is an older lady (old enough to be a Yay) and she doesn't speak much to me, but her reiterations of everything I say always make me laugh. We just laugh for no reason sometimes... I just go along with it. When I learn a new word and blurt it out she will always repeat it and follow it with a laugh.. but she is not laughing at me, shes laughing with me.

My counterpart is the one I spend the most time with, even though I don't station myself in her room, being that she mostly works in the anti-natal care room checking pregnant mothers. She is the head honcho nurse due to her loud and HUGE personality. Everything she says she will say loud and proud. Everyone in the health center can hear every conversation she has... quite funny. I never understand what she is saying cause she speaks very fast and the volume of her voice obscures the slight fluctuations and tonal differences I need to comprehend the language. We always find a way to get our point across to each other and there is always an exchange of a friendly yet hard slap on the arms. Many of our conversations revolve around the topic of money. It gets overwhelming at times and there are instances where I simply do not want to talk about their financial difficulties over and over again. Everything in Cambodia revolves around money and the people here never miss a chance to tell me how hard it is here and how easy it is in America.Many times she will bring up her income and how much it costs to send her children to school. Again I just go along with it and try to clear up the misconceptions about how "easy" she thinks life in America is. They know that banks give us loans in America, something they are not afforded with, but they a.) dont understand how expensive college is in America b.)that money has to be paid back over many years which sucks and c.)banks dont always give out loans. This was actually our conversation today, but it has played out many times between her, her husband, and me. Other than that she is always treating me like one of her kids. She never fails to feed me food, always invites me over to her house, and invites me to go along with her family on trips. I am probably closer to her than I am my host mom.. not to say that my host mom isn't great, but my counterpart is just so much fun to be around.

The other nurses are also great to be around. They are younger and can handle the stresses of the health center. They always try to start conversations with me which I appreciate greatly. Since my job is still kind of unknown in the health center, they could have either treated me as a nuisance and tossed me aside or helped me through this difficult period. I'm not sure whether or not they understand how hard it is for me to be doing this "job" but they treat me with kindness and respect. We always have conversations that contain many bits of laughter and humor and I already feel like one of the staff. My health center director, when I see him, is also a wonderful person. Sometimes he brings me into his office just to sit there and watch him work. I'm not sure why he does that, but hes always fun to be around. He's a younger man that is truly kind hearted. I never have any problems with him or the rest of the staff (besides the male nurse) and am looking forward to the next two years with them.

The rest of the day is spent mostly at home. Meal times are my family hours and they are pretty much the only hanging out time I end up having with my mom and dad. I can usually communicate anything I want with them and we always can get our points across eventually. My mom is always jolly and laughs during any conversation we have. The simplest of things she thinks are hilarious, which I don't always get but again I just go with the flow. My mom is another person who brings up money. ANYTHING I buy or she suspects I buy she will quiz me on the price and where I got it. Even if its always the same answer, she has to know prices. I'm pretty sure she has asked me how much everything I own cost in the states. I always say I don't know cause giving her the prices will make me sound rich and make me look like I have money.. which I don't. I used to get very annoyed by all the money questions, but now I think it is just something to talk about. She likes to point out how much money Cambodia doesnt have and again I try to right the misconceptions. My dad and I don't really have that many conversations, but my frustrations with him are the greatest at times. He never fails to ask where I am going, when I will be back, who I am going with, and what I will be doing. When my mom gets a chance she will also ask that barrage of questions, but my dad and I will mostly talk just about that except when he brings out the electric bill and points out how much electricity I am using. I was very annoyed with my parents for a good month but we have hit a turning point and I am starting to really enjoy and understand them.

My language tutor is the only source of English I get in my village and that is 3 times a week. He is a very nice man that is helping me out a ton with this rather difficult learning process. Since he speaks very good English he is the main source of misconceptions I run into. Almost every lesson I end up pointing out many rumors or false accusations passed down in Cambodian rumor. Today I corrected him on how dating, relationship building, and marriage is conducted throughout the rest of the world. Premarital sex is taboo here and there is not really such a thing as dating; something completely opposite to that of America. The parents are the sole decider on who marries their son or daughter, something he found no problem in. I tried to explain how marriage in the states is something of love and loyalty between the couple in the relationship, not something the parents control. He also thought that the rocks in mount everest make planes crash because it acts like a magnet and any fruit coming from other countries is automatically bad cause they use "chemicals" to grow and enlarge them. I enjoy telling him my view on things with the hope that he will spread these words to his students. He is probably the most respected English teacher in my village so his words go far and wide through his classroom and students. I always enjoy chatting with him and think of him more as a friend than teacher. My status as a white person from America automatically puts me on equal terms with everyone so the friendship status is much easier to attain than that of teacher / student.

At night around 5pm I head over to my counterparts house where I help her husband teach English to a group of kids out of his garage. These kids act as my home base and provide me with a sense of normality and balance throughout my stressful and crazy days. They know a good bit of English and are always so much fun to be around. They are very warm and welcoming and put on a much more mature front than teenagers of their age in America tend to put on. I don't do a whole lot there but being in the company of them always puts me in a good mood. My counterparts family will always bring out food for me to eat and she knows how to cook damn well. The husband knows a good bit of English also and I always find it a pleasurable experience to talk with him. He is a gentle person in character and just one look at him automatically shows kindheartedness and a loving personality.

So those are the people who provide the main points of excitement throughout most of my days. There are others I see occasionally and of course I am meeting new people every single day. The patients I meet in the health center provide all the new encounters I can handle at moment. There is no lack of stares and points during my morning working hours, but they are always kind and nice to strike up conversations with. I don't really talk to a whole lot of them because the atmosphere is so chaotic, but there are some kids I have found an absolute pleasure to play which leads into conversations with their parents.

Without forgetting, I couldn't make it through this without the other peace corps volunteers which are either a phone call or bike ride away. Me and a friend have really taken up the sport of bike riding and have biked a couple hundred kilometers in the past couple weeks. Im planning trips with many of them and they are always a source of venting and reality in this very unreal and strange world.