hitting the gym

I want to start a gym! I had training last week in phnom penh and while walking to the gym one of my friends suggested I start one at my site. I thought about it and it actually sounds like a really awesome idea! I love going to the gym and I love what it does for my health. I have even bought weights that I use in my room every other day and I always feel my best after a nice work out. I have come to realize that these Cambodians are lazy lazy lazy and something needs to be done about it. Whats worse, is they are so self conscious about their bodies they don't eat enough of the right foods all in the name of staying skinny. They want to be ripped and they want to be skinny, but they are against doing anything that requires physical exertion. Having a gym at my site would solve pretty much all of those issues and lead to a healthier group of people that understand the benefits of physical activity.

I will give them one thing... its hot here. Many days I can't even muster up the balls to start lifting because of the stifling heat and humidity. I have even started working out without any clothes just so I can save some of my already sweat ridden shirts from further destruction... plus its not something I will ever be doing in the States. I get that its hot, but these people are used to it and I feel like they use it as an excuse more often than not. The good thing about a gym is that they don't have to be in the sun, there is no running involved, which they hate, and the stationary motion keeps them from overheating like they can easily do playing soccer or volleyball.

Right now, I am thinking about the items used to lift with. The bars would be metal and I plan on just using cement to make the weights. Many of the buffer kids in the village use cement that they made into weights and they actually work pretty well, plus they wont rust if they get wet and if they are stolen, then they are easily replaceable. I was thinking of creating some pull up bars which would have to be sturdier and even some benches for things like sit-ups and bench pressing. There are a couple other things I am looking into but you get the gist. After materials, I am thinking about where to have it run. I would love to be able to get an NGO help me out with acquiring a building or something like that, but for now I will probably just run it out of my house (or underneath it). Once those two things are done, I will think about having classes and such which promote healthy exercising like a girls day and a heavy lifting day for the bigger guys out there. Idealy it would be at the school so the kids would get more use out of it. Many of the adults are hopeless at this point in there lives. They have drank one too many cups of palm wine to get rid of that belly they have formed. The kids are where its at and I really think it would make a huge difference in their health and overall well being. Whats everybody else got to say?

big heart, big opportunity, what to do?

This is going to be one of my shorter posts, but i'm in the mood to write so here it goes. As mid-service approaches, I look out on the past 10 months with a smile and with a frown. There is no doubt I have done a lot with my time here. I have seen many things, met some great people along the way, and tried my best to do what I came here to do. While that is so, I have this uneasy feeling that I am not doing enough and that I'm not satisfied with the work I have done thus far. Personally, I have made much larger advances towards changing who I was before I came. As I am grateful for this, I am still as uneasy about this as I am my work. There are times when I amaze myself by not getting annoyed at something that would throw me over the edge in the states, or simply moving on and realizing things aren't a huge deal when I would have blown things way out of proportion in the states. But then I get those moments where I see myself doing the same old shit I would in the States and its somewhat depressing. I am at this crossroads in my service where I need to make some decisions, act on those decisions, and see where that takes me in the next year.

The most pressing is the matter of my work in Cambodia as a health educator. I give health talks in the health center and I teach health classes in the high school once or twice a week, but I need to be doing a whole lot more. I don't have this shining project most volunteers have started developing and I am starting to need something like that to keep me wanting to be here and keep my morale up. Some volunteers have some amazing projects in the works, and while I must keep on telling myself its irrational to compare myself to others, I do realize that one or two projects would be nice and benefit the community greatly. I try and analyze what these people need and what will benefit them in the long run and I am at a loss for words. Building wells would be good, but what would building 5-10 wells in the community really do for everyone in the long run. I want to do something that is going to benefit the majority of people and continue in the long run. Building wells or getting water filters for the community helps a specific group of people and in the end its not going to help the people as whole improve the quality of their health. I have ideas up in the head that are simply just ideas at the moment, but I need to make a decision and act on it or my happiness and self-fulfillment are going to decline, which is bad for a foreign volunteer in the middle of a Cambodian village.

As far as personal change, I need to find it within myself to make the most out of this experience and make some hardcore changes that will improve the quality and duration of my happiness and self imposed value of this experience. I find myself getting depressed a lot recently, whether its because of the way people are behaving in this country, my lack of personal friendships, or my unease about not doing enough and making the most out of this time. I have to realize that I am only living in Cambodia for 2 years (maybe) and this opportunity is something I will always look back on. What I do now is going to determine how I look back on this and I will be damned if I spend it moping about what is not perfect and what I could be doing better. I used to run off the idea that things happen for a reason. Sometime during the last 10 months I forgot about that ideology and turned towards wondering why why why. Just accepting that things happen for a reason, even if its not apparent at first, is such a wonderful way of going about things and I think thats what I'm going to start doing again. I need to continually look at things in a positive way instead of negative, which I have doing a lot more since coming here, but there's always room for improvement!

Now for the heavy. To return or not? I have been meddling with this idea in my head for a while and now I think its time to let people know whats going on inside the white/grey matter (yea i know... im a dork). As I spend more and more time here, Cambodia is becoming a home I don't want to leave. I could tell you about all the positives this country has to offer in a whole new post and while there are definitely negatives, I love every minute here for the most part. I haven't been cold in 10 months, every night and day during rainy season massive storms roll throughout the country-side, I can look out my window and enjoy a jungle full of palm and coconut trees, and the people are some of the friendliest I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I am helping these people get healthier, one talk at a time and I love doing what I do. I am experiencing a culture I find very fascinating and awesome to be apart of. There's rarely any kind of stress like I used to endure in America and I know that what I am doing is effective and worthwhile. I have always wanted to help people, learn about other cultures, and see other lands so why should I give that all up to come home and bury my head in books for the next 4 years? I have all these skills that any NGO worker would kill to have so why not use my talents for the betterment of Cambodia health care?

Thats my argument for staying, but then there's the argument of why I should definitely come home, or atleast travel to another region in the world. I have a wonderful family back home and some amazing friends that i have surrounded myself with throughout the years. While I know they would be happy for me in whatever I decide to do, I don't know if I could live with myself if I just up and left and never came back. I did have a great life back home and if I really do want to come back to Cambodia I can always do the whole doctor without boarders thing after becoming a doctor. While living in the States does have its negatives, I have come to realize that it is definitely the best damn country there is out there and there's a reason why people love the USA. So friends, family, and becoming a doctor would be a great path to follow... right?

The middle ground I have come to learn of is extending my stay. There is this option I can take to extend for another year and that is something I am deeply considering. While 2 years may not be enough, I think by the 3rd year it will be out of my system and I might finally be ready to go home. Still not sure about this yet for a variety of reasons, but its being thought about heavily. In 6 months I have no idea what will be happening or what I will be feeling so for now I am putting these thoughts of post-peace corps service aside and focusing on whats here and now.

So that's it. I have a huge desire to do something special and help improve health care in the Cambodian villages, Peace Corps has given me the opportunity to accomplish this and now its just up to me what happens from here on out. There's no study guide for this, no class syllabus to follow, and no friend to study with to make it better. Its just me and my ideas and I have to make them a reality.

Gallivanting

My Sumatran / Malaysian trip has come and gone and many things have happened since then. I have gone through one of many transitions at site, some good and some not, but that can wait till after I talk about this amazing trip I took while gallivanting through Indonesia and Malaysia.

I decided to wait a couple weeks and let the experience soak in. It was by far one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen and the sites and sounds I was fortunate to experience will surely be with me for the rest of my life. The story starts before I even left... I need to paint the picture of what mindset I was in as I was departing Cambodia. Khmer New Year fell directly during my trip, which was planned. I was at first disappointed I was missing Khmer New Year, but soon enough I was to realize this country is not some place I want to be during such a holiday. I have experienced holidays before in Cambodia... people drink warm beer, play cards, students don't go to school, and any sense of productivity is lost. Cambodians take that to a whole new level during Khmer New Year and it was to a point where I simply did not want to live here. The students at the private class I help at every night stopped coming, the health center staff decided not to work for the most part, and while everyone was out and about doing stuff I was stuck sitting in my room with no one to talk to. People play their Khmer card games which always involve money and not something I even remotely know how to play, and the drinking gets to a despicable level many times. I saw many husbands wasting away drinking their palm wine while their wife is probably home taking care of their 6 hungry children. It was almost a guarantee to spot this behavior anywhere throughout the village and I needed out.

I packed my bags, headed to phnom penh, and before I knew it I was flying away from my troubles with two friends to a tropical paradise. We arrived in Kuala Lumpur and headed straight for the city. It was a surreal experience traveling to this place pretty much on my own accord. I have never planned a trip like this and alot went into it. Busing into the city was a sense of relief and accomplishment as I gazed at Kuala Lumpur's beautiful skyline. With all the planning I did, I didn't really know a whole lot about the city itself and what it had to offer. We decided to find a guesthouse in China Town and stroll the city for the evening. We ate.... get ready... MCDONALDS! While I never really ate there a whole lot in the States, devouring that chicken sandwhich felt pretty damn good and lifted my spirits immediately. It was almost as if my taste buds were awoken for the first time after a long 9 month nap. As we were trying to find our way around the city I noticed how awesome the people were. Everyone was helpful and all I had to do was take my map out and someone was garaunteed to help point us in the right direction. The people were a mix of all cultures. Many many muslims with women dressed in full body garments (some even in burkas) filled the streets. It took me by surprise to see such a heavy influence of muslim culture dominating everything. With that said, it was still a very tourist friendly city and nothing says it better than an Outback Steak House which we filled our guts to capacity at.

I ended up splitting off from everybody else the next day. I went to see the Petronas Towers which are currently the world's tallest twin towers. They are magnificent pieces of architecture that grace the Kuala Lumpur skyline. They are a mix of shinny metalic and glass and I couldn't help but stare in awe for a good hour once directly under their massive shadows. The shape of the building itself has some islamic culture woven into it. The structures were simply impressive and it has been a dream of mine to get as close as possible to them. Next I traveled to the KL Tower which is a good 250 meters into the air. The views were spectacular and I couldn't have asked for a better day to view the city from so high up. Next I bussed to Batu Caves which were stunning beyond words. They sit high up on a mountain and lead into a cavernous chamber that could easily fit a 200-300 foot building. I was taken aback at how large the cave itself was. The echos were awesome and the atmosphere inside is unlike anything else. There were monkeys everywhere, some trying to bite the people as they entered. I steered clear of the monkeys and managed to catch some great pictures. The rest of the day we all spent together, drinking some beer, smoking some hookah (no... not pot), ate Indian food in Little India, and even managed to go to a rock concert held under the twin towers that night. All in all Kuala Lumpur was a success.

The rest of the trip was spent in Sumatra. We flew to Medan early in the am, which was a chaotic mess trying to get to the airport when the sun hadn't even risen. We eventually made it, purchased our visa's and made our way to the bus station. Immediately upon arrival, I noticed how different Medan was from Kuala Lumpur and how absolutely annoyed I was at being there. Kuala Lumpur is like a clean, nice, tropical New York City, but Medan is like taking the worse parts of Phnom Penh and combining it into one big cluster fu@$. There was pretty much no use of the English language which made doing anything in that city very difficult. The traffic is the worse I have ever seen, anywhere in my travels, there are no trees whatsoever, and the tuk tuks are about 1/3 the size of those in phnom penh. Luckily we were leaving the city immediately and about 2 hours later we were on a bus out. Buses in Sumatra are a discussion within itself. First and foremost, people are allowed to smoke on the buses and news flash, everyone in indonesia smokes. I saw people of all ages lighting up in the buses which have very little air flow and are hot as heck. People are crammed as tight as possible and the roads don't help the situation at all, seeing as they are covered with potholes, if paved at all. It took us around 2 hours just to get out of the city simply from the traffic and by the time we got to our destination of Bukit Lawang we simply wanted to eat and sleep.

It didn't take long though for our luck to change because once we stepped off the bus we were smack dab in the middle of one of the most beautiful villages I have ever seen. We made our way to the village from the bus station and I still remember very clearly the view of the village opening up to us for the first time. It is a quaint, very homey village situated on the Bokhour River with huge mountains covered with rainforest on the opposite bank. Bungalows and treetop villas scatter the village side and locals are going about their business with a sense of happiness and calm rarely seen back home. The locals knew how beautiful this place they call home is and it is easily transparent in their body language and personality. The Sumatrans in Medan were cold and not very friendly, but those in Bukit Lawang were anything but. We found our guesthouse and were amazed by what we saw. Our room was a treetop bungalow with an amazing panoramic view of the rainforest on the other side. The rooms were awesome and the bathroom was open aired and very clean. The view offered was stunning and one could take it in even from the shower. The wall in the bathroom was a little higher than our heads which prevented peep shows yet allowed for some spectacular sights. I don't think I have ever had such a good time taking a shit before in my life! That night we went to a party thrown by one of the guesthouses and the local jungle guides and I can't remember ever being in the presence of so many happy individuals. The locals played music with various instruments, sang some awesome songs, had an awesome time conversing with us, and made that one of my favorite memories of the trip. There was this guy Donney who would always swear he was by far the happiest person on Earth. He had never gone to a day of schooling; he simply works as a tour guide for the Orangutan sanctuary and meets new people every single day of his life. I'm sure many of them were high at the time, but I doubt their sense of happiness and peace were fake. I went to sleep smiling that night.

The next day we treked the jungles of the Orangutan sanctuary and saw amazing creatures very close up. It was a real life adventure going up and down huge mountains, climbing over gigantic vines, crossing rivers and streams, and getting as dirty / sweaty as possible. We spent a good 6 hours in that jungle and satisfied all my expectations in the process. The jungle had a huge canopy with trees taller than any I have ever seen. The plants were wild and vines wove their way in and out of everything. We were fortunate to see many different kinds of monkeys. From what I know they were a combination of Thomas Leaf, Mokaks, and Gibbon Monkeys. The real treat were the Orangutans. The first one we saw was mere feet away and resting ontop a tree stump similar to a sitting buddha. I was taken aback at how large these primates are. They have massive and powerful arms and their stature is very impressive. I was in awe at how they can hold themselves up in the trees as they did. The next one we saw was much latter in the trek but was anything but event-less. This Orangutan was a mother with her child and decided to follow us for a good 20 minutes. Every turn we made she decided to take and we could not shake her. The guide was actually worried by this cause she apparently has bitten more people than any other in the park. I think she is up to 25 people at this point. Finally we got rid of her with some threatening gestures and she wallowed away into the dense brush calmly and peacefully.

We ate lunch in this stream on rocks and it was tastier than anything I could have hoped for. We had so many delicious fruits from fresh pineapple to passion fruits. Rice was prepared by the guide's mother which was seasoned, topped with an egg, and wrapped in banana leaves. The whole experience was unreal and afterwards we washed off in the waterfall right beside us. We finished the trek with a rafting trip down the river after a lengthy swim in a deeper section of the river. The water was crystal clear and pretty damn refreshing (I would go as far as to say its much cleaner than the water I drink in Cambodia). The entire rafting trip the jungle towered over us, climbing the steep mountains of the sanctuary. We passed many monkeys along the way and had a blast manouvering through the rapids. We ended the day with a bat cave located a couple Kilos away from the village. The cave had a darkness you can't find many places above ground. It engulfs everything that steps inside and with the tiny flashlight we were given we found our way through the puddles and mountains of rocks all the way to the back where there were bats resting on the ceiling. The trek and cave exploring were exactly what I was looking for in my Sumatran adventure. I was not all about going to the beaches and relaxing on the sand... I can do that in Cambodia! This trip was supposed to be about thrilling exploration and seeing things I can't see anywhere else and Bukit Lawang helped me achieve that feeling, if only for a day or two. That night we were pretty sore from all the climbing and walking so we headed to bed early, but not before I took a nice shit in the open aired bathroom, staring out upon the jungle.

The rest of the trip took place in Lake Toba. I hired a guide to take us around Lake Toba for a 3 day kayaking trip and it was definitely worth every cent. We rode by private car with our guide for about 5 hours through mountains and rainforest. We stopped in Berastagi and got to glimpse two active volcanoes. There were thunderstorms all around and it was cool/misty. The altitude rose to about 2,000 meters so we were no longer suffering from the hot Sumatran heat. The drive was one of the most scenic I have had the pleasure to experience, all along with this german born kayaking guide who kept things interesting the entire time. We arrived at Toba by driving over the huge rim of the volcano. It was storming still so we settled down into our shabby guesthouse with some fried rice and hot tea. The next morning was brilliant and sunny and before we knew it we were out on the water of Lake Toba, basking in the Indonesian sunlight.

A little background as to what Lake Toba is and was. Thousands of years ago, a giant chamber of crap erupted creating the largest volcanic eruption known to Earth. It covered much of Asia in hundreds of feet of ash and covered the Earth in a layer, killing off species and causing population declines in many more. The caldera filled with water and years later, the super volcano erupted again, creating this island in the center of the world's largest volcanic lake. The entire lake is surrounded by high rolling mountains with waterfalls and lush vegetation running down their sides. As soon as we were on the water I started taking photo after photo and found it hard to stop due to its sheer beauty and size.

Now I am no experienced kayaker... actually... I have never kayaked in a boat like this ever. I was under the impression that I was going to capsize fairly easily yet once on the water I found the experience of kayaking very natural. The silence other than the boat slicing through the water or the paddle making its way into the clear deep blue lake was very refreshing and a nice change from barking dogs and crying babies. We went from village to village during our three days at Toba, stopping at places rarely ever seen by tourists. Our guide was basically the first to start the industry of kayaking and white water rafting in Sumatra and he knew his stuff. He was friends with all the hotel owners we stayed with and knew pretty much everything there is to know about life there. I heard many stories about Sumatra in general and several involved the tsunamis of recent past. He has a very unique outlook on how the country was affected by the many disasters to have plagued the country. His wife is the leading news anchor of the major news station in Indonesia and had the chance to cover many of the events that surrounded each disaster. One such story was of this man who learned from an NGO to run if the water recedes after an earthquake. He was told to run to higher ground cause the water is going to return and be much higher than before. During the 2004 earthquake, he ran to the beach to find the water very far from the shore so he went home packed his things, gathered his family, and told his fellow villagers to run to the neighboring hill. The rest ignored him and instead ran to the beach to collect the fish that were stranded. He said as he was running with his family he could hear the thunder of the incoming tsunami yet he couldn't turn around to look out of fear of what he would see. He heard the screams and the crashing of buildings and it wasn't till he was on top of the hill that he turned around to see the entire town under water. He and his family were the only ones to have survived the wave. We learned all about the other tsunamis, the NGO response and the bad it is doing, and many other stories. We had alot of time on the water and in the hotels to talk about pretty much anything we had questions about, which helped alot in understanding the country and where these people are coming from.

The setting of Lake Toba was as serene and unreal as I could have hoped for. Just being on the water, kayaking at my own pace, basically alone surrounded by gigantic mountains was good way to end a vocation I could have only dreamed of a couple years ago. My muscles were sore and my hands were blistered but it was worth every bit of pain and discomfort. The scenery was breathtaking and the experience was something I still find hard to believe I went through.

We ended the kayaking trip on Samosir Island, right across the waters from Parapat and stayed in a pretty swanky hotel. The guesthouses we stayed at during our stay in Toba were pretty run down... and this is me saying that after living in Cambodia for almost a year. We enjoyed the last night to the fullest and headed back to the hell hole of Medan the next day. We decided to go cheap and stay at this shoestring of a hostel. The room literally had 3 beds lined up in a row and that was it. Absolutely nothing else but a little fan sitting on one side of the room. We said to ourselves, we only need it to sleep in and were tired anyways so no biggie... right? Wrong, none of us got any sleep that night due to the noise and the wonderful call to prayer that blasted from the nearby mosque at 4am. We were glad to be leaving the next day and I was actually kind of happy to head back to Cambodia. The trip was a success and before we knew it we were riding a tuk tuk in Phnom Penh reminiscing on the previous adventure.

I returned to site the following day to find Cambodia just as I had left it. The people were still very unmotivated to do anything close to something productive and I still didn't know how to play card games. I sat in my room again, feeling the post-vocation blues, wishing I was somewhere else. It was probably the lowest I have felt since arriving at site. I couldn't work and nobody seemed to want to invite the foreigner with them for whatever they were doing. I am used to being lonely... its a part of being in the Peace Corps. I have gotten used to being happy with myself instead of what friends I have and what my friends think about me. But something about sitting there by myself for a week after Sumatra made me horribly depressed and it is something I don't want to experience again. In America we will always invite the foreign exchange student to do whatever we are doing, simply because we are the new family and what he or she is relying on for the time being. We introduce them to everybody we know and show them around, explaining the culture and lifestyles of America. During my week back from Sumatra I didn't get the sense anybody really wanted me to do anything with them. Everyone was out and about doing their own thing and I was left alone to mope around in my room. And its not just me, many other volunteers experienced the same damn thing. I asked some people why it was so and I got answers ranging from they don't want us to have an accident or they don't want to incovenience us. I think its simply because they wanted to play cards and drink and not have to translate everything from Khmer to English when I dont understand.

O well.... that time period has come and gone. Things are back to normal at site and I am feeling much better than I did right after coming back from Sumatra. I'm back to helping out the private class every night, taught a health lesson at the high school yesterday, am giving many health speaches at the health center, and have gotten back into my routine of eating rice every meal. My mom came which was awesome awesome awesome! Thats for a whole different blog though. Life is back to its sweet normality and the experience of Sumatra lives on. Again... loving life.

Current, Past, and Future

Next week I will be gallivanting all over south east asia so I thought I'd take some time to fill everybody in on the past, current, and future.

Rainy season has started and I couldn't be happier about its arrival. The dry season in Cambodia is something that does nothing good for my sinuses and lungs. Everyday I breath in tons of smoke and dust kicked up by the dirt paths and dried out rice fields. Ever since November I have had this constant dry cough, pain behind the eyes from inflamed sinuses, horrible allergies, and a very dusty set of clothes. The dirt sticks to everything and there seems to be an endless supply waiting for the next moto or car to kick it up into the air. The rice fields turn into huge windswept plains that frequently are dotted with cattle munching on the dried up rice stalks. With the dry season the heat seems to dissipate to a small extent. I sweat everyday... there's no getting around that, but during the dry season the humidity is down which helps to make the constant 90 degree temps bearable. Also, the dry season seems to keep the rats and spiders out of the house. I haven't heard the rats partying below my bed since November and the spiders are much fewer in numbers (in my house atleast).

The rainy season is something that I both love and despise. I do welcome the relief in sinus pressure, eye pain, coughing, and allergies, but on the downside all my clothes now become coated in mud. Not only does that mean the process of doing laundry has to be done more often, but drying the clothes takes twice as long with the high humidity and lack of sunshine. With the rainy season the temps actually get much hotter. There have been some scorchers already. I can't really say I notice a hot or cold season because like I said, every day I sweat and every day it gets into the 90's. FYI to all you back in America who are jealous about the previous sentence... its very much overrated. What I would do to jump naked into a pile of snow. Anyways, the mornings were a bit chilly during the dry season. With the rainy season comes warmer mornings and equally warmer afternoons when the sun is out. The greatest thing about this season though is the storms that come with it. most nights are a light show with lightening flashing at the speed of a strobe light at times. Cambodia is flat which allows for views of storms miles upon miles away. When the storms actually do hit it is something that I never take fore granted. Its very clear that rain is coming when it does and when it hits I always take the opportunity to sit, relax, and enjoy the show. It comes in great waves of downpours that inundate every nook and cranny of my village. The palms sway and the rain pounds on the hut roofs with a force that drowns out even my ipod. the wind almost always is blowing at gale force strength and the ground soon becomes a muddy mess / river. I like to sit on my porch in my kroma and soak in the mist that manages to reach me. The lightening isn't very intense, but it is more than made up for by the intensity of the rain. Many times the rain lasts quite a while and its one of my favorite things to fall asleep to. As far as spiders and rats go, I haven't had a problem with them yet. The malaria and dengue ridden mosquito population sky rockets though and I'm sure its only a matter of weeks before the big spiders start popping out all over the house.

So that's the weather. Now for work related stuff. Everything is going great! As I mentioned in previous posts, I love my health center and everything that comes with it. I am doing what I came here to do and I couldn't be happier with the way things are going. I am teaching in the high school still about 2-3 times a week and my lessons are really starting to take shape. I teach a different class each week so I have only talked about diarrhea and nutrition so far, but both of those lessons have turned into great discussions that really get the kids talking about what is healthy for them. I always get kids coming up to me asking me what food group this belongs to and what foods make them grow. At first my lesson was weak and I don't believe I connected with many of them on a level I was hoping for. But nowadays I am really getting through to these kids what they should be eating and why it is important. I go through the three food groups, go over what each of them does, and why they are important. There are many misconceptions out there about food, how one gains weight, and what is actually considered healthy. I introduce the calorie to them and manage to explain that if calories are not used then they turn into fat. I go through an explanation of how one actually does gain weight and I even have to explain how water CANNOT make them fat. Many girls are under the impression that if you drink alot of water they will gain weight and be ugly. Some even think that if they eat alot of rice and only a little meat they will lose weight. Both trains of thought are completely wrong and I have been going through that with them. I even touch on the misconception dealing with chemicals in fruit. Many have been told by their parents that fruits from Thailand and Vietnam have chemicals in them that will make them sick so many forgo that food group when eating meals. They are under the false impression that fruits from Cambodia are all natural which couldn't be further from the truth. In my opinion yes, fruits may have chemicals in them, but not all chemicals are bad and I doubt there are actually enough in the fruits to do any harm whatsoever. It is much more beneficial to eat the fruits than not and I do my best to communicate that to the students.

In the health center things have also been going great. I recently started an overhaul of the entire process dealing with patients and how they are given treatment. As mentioned in a previous post, I started a number system at the health center. Patients now have to pick a number before entering which eliminates the need to fight over who gets treated first. It was amazing to me how patients who had been waiting for medicine for over an hour could be knocked out of the way by a demanding old person simply because elders have a much higher stance in this society. The number system was working perfectly but I was still not happy with the way things were going. Those who were there to see the midwifes for ANC checkups crowd into the ANC room and those who were there for vaccinations crowded into the vaccination room which does no good for anybody when you have a room full of screaming babies. I already give health education to those who are there for general health issues because the consultation area is basically in the lobby and that is where I set up my table of pamphlets, health magazines, and the number system which I still have to man. I wanted those there for vaccinations and ANC checkups also to wait in the lobby so I could get education out to them also. So what I did was divide the lobby into sections where the people now have to sit and wait for their number to be called. This allows for one on one contact between patient and doctor and greatly improves their supposed right to privacy. Ever since I have started doing this the people are doing what I wanted them to do... they wait somewhat patiently in the lobby for their number to be called and the level of service has greatly improved since. The doctors are actually spending time with the patients and I can tell a huge difference in the way the nurses have been acting. They seem much more into what they are doing instead of herding cattle in and out of the room. I have been able to come up with many more talks to give to people and I feel as though I am really giving some good health education to those who walk in to the health center. I have even started making my own handouts in Khmer about health issues I feel like talking about. I will be doing one a month that talk about a health issue I deem important. I give one to everyone who walks in and it is a great lead into talking with patients about a wide range of topics. All in all the health center is going better than I could have imagined.

Family life also couldn't be better. I know I go on and on about how much I love this village and the people who surround me everyday, but I really can't believe how much I have grown into this place. My village is something right out of a fairy tale book and the people are equally as awesome. I love my family and appreciate everything they do for me. The kids I help teach at 5pm every night have really grown into awesome relationships I cherish. The students have stopped being intimidated by me and think of me as a friend instead of a superior. Walking into a Cambodian village with white skin and a nationality they respect so highly almost always makes me the most respected person in the village to most. They treat me with a generosity that goes above and beyond and it is a humbling experience to be treated so kindly by people who are almost always strangers. But at the school and many other places, the kids see me as an equal and friend and that's what I have been working towards for the past 8 months. I wanted to connect with them on a level I can back in the States and to pleasure we have all gotten to that level. That is also helped by my improvement in Khmer. I can talk to pretty much anybody I want to and that goes a long way. I seriously love each and every one of my family members, friends, co-workers, and students more than I thought possible when I first arrived. This place is what I now call home and I definitely don't like leaving site if I can help it.

So that brings me to where I will be going next week. Me and two volunteers are going to be heading to the adventurous island of Sumatra for a week and half. It is Khmer new year very soon in Cambodia and I don't look forward to seeing the amount of drunks that will be clogging the roadways and jungle paths. So we decided to head off to another country and bypass that cluster f@%# of a holiday. We are first heading to Kuala Lumpur for 2 days where we will climb the petronas towers, visit some caves and mosques, experience a river tour through the rain forest at night, and partake in some awesome food that I have been long awaiting. Then we will head to Sumatra where we will be hanging with the Orangutans in Bukit Lawang, climb a volcano at Berastagi, and take a 3 day kayaking tour of Lake Toba. Its going to be an amazing trip and I can't wait to see more of this beautiful corner of Earth. It sucks to be away from the family but I joined Peace Corps to not only help people, but to see parts of the world I never thought I would. There are other trips in the works that will likely blow this one out of the water but they will be saved for future posts. As for now, I can't wait to chill with some friends in another tropical paradise with hopefully a few monkeys around.

Ps. so I literally had to add this after I posted it. I was walking down my stairs after finishing this post and I was greeted by a monster spider at the foot of the stairs. I now have to jump around it and find a way of "disposing" of it. Wish me luck!

There's a First for Everything

So I decided to dedicate this blog to everything I have never seen, eaten, heard, smelled, thought, felt, or experienced before coming to Cambodia. While taking one of the many shits throughout my recent past, I could not help think about all that I have seen in Cambodia in a short 7 months... yea that's right... 7! Never in a million years would I have thought it probable that I would be experiencing things like this if you had asked me about two years ago, before I even decided to join Peace Corps. Coming from America is like living in a bubble that has been cleaned with Windex mercilessly. We can see everything on the internet and hear about everything on the nightly news, but to actually experience it is something I would have never thought possible. Since arriving in this tiny Southeast Asian country, here is a compilation, in no specific order, of what I consider memorable firsts and the stories that go with some:

King Cobra - while biking on a path I noticed a buy up ahead with his hand held out to stop me. I hopped off my bike to only see him beat the ditch besides the road with a stick. Mud and water went flying everywhere and it was apparent that he was not only trying to kill something, but terrified in the process. His kids were looking cautiously towards the ditch and his wife was keeping her distance when all of a sudden this behemoth snake propelled itself out of the water and spread its neck into the characteristic shape of a cobra. It hissed louder than I ever would have imagined and coiled itself into the attack position. I was stunned and a mere 5-7 feet away from this snake when the guy and the snake who entered into a staring contest leered at each other with a tenseness that meant one was going to die while the other lived. The man slung a stick very hard in the direction of the snake, causing it to fly in my direction. I cursed loudly (in English) and scampered off to find my dad. When we arrived back at the scene they had cut off the head and were getting ready to cook the serpent.
Poisonous Centipede - an approximately 10 inch long poisonous centipede almost bit my mom on her foot. They are the nastiest of things with coloring that could only indicate danger. They have these nasty large fangs that inject a large amount of very painful poison into the body. Would never want to get bitten by one of those. One actually did bite my mom a couple years ago and her foot swelled to the size of a football and sent pain up the side of her body to her arm.
GIANT Spiders / Tarantulas - If you are wondering if there is a difference between the two the answer is YES! First and foremost, I would definitely consider myself an arachniphobic before coming to Cambodia. The mere thought of spiders made my skin crawl to the point where feeling the hairs on my legs move at night under the covers would cause me to take off all my sheets and carefully scrutinize my sleeping space for any arachnids. On one of our very first bus rides here we stopped at some food venders for some grub and were immediately surrounded by young Cambodian vender girls holding huge hairy tarantulas. They tried putting them on us and succeeded with a few. I got the balls to only touch one, which was a huge feat for me. Then I managed to eat a whole leg, which was fried in a wok, which was of course after eating a large fried cricket. Unfortunately I must say they are not the worrisome creatures that occupy the far corners of my hut. The giant spiders (those of which can be seen on my facebook easily) are everywhere and much scarier than your slow moving tarantula. These things make spiderman look like your average garden spider. They seriously flip and dart your every attempt at swatting them with a palm leaf broom. They are aware at every attempt made towards there life and once you start waking at them you have to finish it before they maneuver their way towards you and up your leg, which I must say still scares the shit out of me. I can proudly state though, that spiders do not freak me out nearly as much as before. I can now walk into my bathroom which frequently has one or two and calmly walk out and return with my weapon of choice, which always ends in me winning.
Horned Beetles - These beetles are gigantic. They fly into my room at night through my barred windows and slam into the nearest surface. It feels like a school bus is crashing into my plastic walls and i'm sure one day it will succeed in punching a whole through my wall. They are pretty neat to see though.
Dog orgies - While this may be disgusting, it is apart of life from time to time in Cambodia and I feel as though it is worth sharing. When female dogs go into heat here, the male dogs go crazy and feel the need to wait in line to hump the female when free. This invariably happened right next to me several times while I was resting on a hammock. Cambodians don't even notice it unless the dogs start fighting. Fighting you ask? Well, the dogs always end up getting stuck together which is also not a very pleasant site to behold and then the other male dogs start attacking the male. The male dogs in this country as pumped full of testosterone which not only makes them extremely horny, but aggressive to the point where I used to always get chased by dogs on my daily bike rides. I have gotten to the point where they no longer threaten me and if a dog dares come after me I am all up in its face just as threatening as it is trying to be to me. But anyways... yes... dog orgies are something I would not have thought to occur right next to me while relaxing in a comfy hammock.
Monkeys - Many wats have monkeys and these things are both cute and vicious. If you have something a monkey wants then it is in your best interest to give it what it wants and go on your merry way. They will seriously claw your face off without the slightest hesitation if you have a tasty piece of rice cake that it is desiring. Some have them chained to trees while other wats will let them roam free to steel things from people who enter. There is even one that lives on the water front of the Mekong River in my provincial town that likes to enter restaurants and reek havoc among the patrons and staff alike.
Temples, and by temples, I mean really freaking old temples - The Khmer empire created a crap load of very beautiful temples in the country that are now over 1000 years old in spots. The stone work that was involved in their creation is simply stunning and the chance to see a new temple on one of my many bike rides is something I never pass up. The many gods and creatures involved in the Buddhist religion is remarkable and the art work that goes into temples and wats is very unreal to behold. They are normally placed in beautiful locations with flowing fields of rice surrounding their outer walls. Monks are always walking around with their billowing orange robes and at times holding an orange umbrella to protect them from the hot Cambodian sun. The prayers are something that I also have never experienced before. I knew of Muslims and their call to prayer, but I never really heard Buddhist chants until coming here. I cant really explain it, but they are something that always makes me think of how awesome it is to be in a place like this. I have been to many ceremonies and even chanted at in several occasions. I have had water sprayed on me and lotus petals thrown at me. I have bowed and prayed at the foot of many Buddhas out of respect to the culture and it is something I will never forget. The drums that the monks band at 4am every morning used to wake my up in my training village and I frequently here the chanting of monks over loud speaker for funerals and weddings. Its much different than my Catholic hymns at Sunday church service.
Fields of Rice and Forests of Palm Trees - These are what make Cambodia into the country it is. Rice fields are everywhere and you haven't really seen this country until you have driven through an endless plain of either plentiful rice or dry barren land which can be found in the dry season. I have seen a large part of this country and it still gets me every time I ride up to and through some of the largest fields I have even seen in my life. Many rice fields simply go on for as far as the eye can see and they are sporadically dotted with huge coconut trees. The image is one that is characteristic of Asia and never becomes a site I become bored with. The trees on the other hand are also awesome! I live in a Cambodian forest which is made up entirely of palm trees. The Pennsylvania forest is much different than the one I am currently living in. Many sounds eminate from the night and it can only be described as wild and adventurous.
Asian market - an asian market can only be described as a claustrophobic's nightmare. There are packed from bottom to top with things of every sort which leaves barely enough room for a thin pathways to maneuver around. The smells are a mix of rotting food, human waste, alot of BO, and yes... rice. I think they are kind of fun to walk around, that is, if I need something from there. I have become extremely cheap since becoming a volunteer so walking around markets where merchandise is literally shoved in my face is not my ideal free time activity. There will be 10 shops in a row with all the same "stuff" and it never occurs to the venders that it would make ore sense to either space themselves out or sell different items. The food section of markets is also a unique experience. The plethora of vegetables is astounding; America simply does not have such a variety of delicious fruits and vegetables which are fresher than anything you will find in a Walmart. Dragon fruits, mians, sow mows, melons, and veggies of all sorts litter every nook and cranny of a venders table. The meat market has literally every piece of an animal you could possibly want and the fish market is filled with the pounding of butcher knifes on wooden boards, occasionally followed by scales flying through the air or a fish that managed to flop itself away from certain death and into the isle where it awaits a much different ending. All in all, the Asian market is an experience you most likely will never forget, if you can find your way out that is.
Biking over 1000 Km... and counting - I think its no secret I like to bike, no, sorry.... I love to bike. The miles I have put on this simple mountain bike are astounding in my opinion and I wouldn't trade a single bike ride for anything. I see village after village, temple after temple, and rice field after rice field, all on the back of my bike. I have biked to the far corners of my province and have managed to cross over into several others. I meet people along the way and always have a nice chat about this and that. The smells, which are not always nice, consist of burning garbage and pure Cambodian heat... along the rode of course. In the fields the smells are quite different and I would call it a mixture of purity and freshness. I have been miles upon miles up and down the paths that straddle the Mekong River and have biked over hills which offer uparalleled views of the Cambodian plains. I biked a little while in college, but never would I have guessed my legs would be doing this much biking in a time span of 7 months.
General sense of happiness - For the first time in my life I am completely satisfied with the way my life is going. There are no issues and drama to worry about, I love my families, my health center, the community, and the people that surround me every day. I wake up in a good mood and lay my head down at night the same. Shit still happens every day... believe me... things go wrong all the time. But now I can look at occurances in a much different light and feel much more at peace with myself. I don't hurry from place to place anymore and there is no need to drink 5 cups of coffee in a day to stay awake. I sleep when I need it, go where I need to go when I have to, and get my work done the best I can without the stress I would normally put myself through. My teeth are much whiter for that and I can seriously say I don't have a single problem with life at the moment. I simply did not know this feeling existed and couldn't be more content with everything.
Scorpions - Yep... they are here to. I only really see them squashed on the road or path though.
Bearded dragons - These things like to sun themselves in the hot Cambodian sun so whenever I am riding my bike I am guaranteed to see them scuttling off to the side. They run with their heads in the air and is a hilarious site to behold. I would put it up there with running chickens and goats... two other animals I see frequently throughout my day. They run with an air of stupidness and I bust out laughing every time I manage to see it. The bearded dragons however are fast as can be and its quite funny to see them run with their heads as high as they can get them.
Not celebrating Christmas - I have never gone through my last 22 years without some sort of celebratory event marking the Chrismas holidays. That goes for every American holiday.. but Christmas was somewhat poinient this year. I am a sucker for the holiday music, hot chocolate, and christmas cookies. Something about the whole season makes me warm inside, no matter how frigid it may be outside. I always look forward to spending time with family and friends and cant remember a Christmas in the States that didn't involve some rendition of all that. Well.. this year was quite different and not necessarily in a bad way. I woke up, sweating, went to the market for some delicious fruit, and spent the day riding around in my shorts in the Cambodian heat. Nobody in the village celebrates Christmas obviously, being all Buddhist, so there was no christmas music to wake up to, presents to open, or Christmas breakfast to be had. I ended up skyping with some friends and family and then went to a Khmer party one of the teachers I work with was having. I will admit, sadness was present at times, but overall I was just amazed at the opportunity to spend a holiday such as Christmas in such a foreign and awesome place. I went to bed with a smile that night.
the Kroma! - This is a kroma wearing country and I rock the kroma daily. Its this table cloth material that everybody wears and has worn for years and years. It is part of traditional Cambodian dress and I am always thrilled to come home from work, strip down, and wrap myself in one of the most airy materials known to man. I won't be wearing that in the States so I am taking full advantage of rocking it out every day I can. And I must say... it feels damn good when its 95 degrees outside.
Not using internet - I was very dependent on the internet coming right out of college. I got on facebook too many times within the day and was constantly checking emails, news sites, and again, facebook. I cant remember a day in my recent past that didn't somehow involve using the web for this and that. Well.. that certainly changed when I came to Cambodia. Training was brutal and I got on the internet maybe once every two weeks. I thought I would have a bigger problem with it than I did, but it was actually quite easy. Everything was so new and the experience was so awesome that not having facebook or news to look at never really became an issue for me. Now I really only get on the internet to upload pics or research stuff for my job. I guess my days of obsessive internet use are over... yet I cant say I have any regret on the matter.
Sandles every day - The sun is hot and it is either really dusty or really muddy in this country. I can't remember I day in the past 7 months I wasn't sweating and needless to say, the humidity makes things 10 times worse. Shoes were out of the question obviously and I have been wearing my Chaco sandles ever since I arrived, minus swear inn. I never thought I would go through such a long period in my life without being constricted to the confines of a nike shoe. Sandles are awesome and my feet feel much more apart of me as they ever have. They are rugged, dirty, and I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole, but in all reality its just character I see crusted onto their soles.
TOILET PAPER-LESS - I'm guessing that most people aren't going to want to shake my left hand when I come back to the states and I can't say I blame them. I haven't used toilet paper since coming here and I can't say that I miss it. I hear something right before I came here about not using toilet paper to wipe their asses, but I for some reason never thought I would be taking part in that practice. I was determined to buy a trash can and toilet paper and dispose of it myself. Well... they dont have trash here and the only thing that comes closest to cleaning up the trash involves throwing it outside in the backyard where the dogs rummage through it. So doing this with shitty toilet paper was impossible and I grew a pair, reached between my legs, and wiped until I was clean. The feeling was definitely odd at first and I was kind of uncomfortable with the practice at first, but then I realized this is Peace Corps and I don't know what I really was expecting to be different about the circumstances. Then I thought about it some more and its actually much more enjoyable and fast. It makes a much smaller mess, doesn't involve cutting down trees, and makes the process in my opinion much faster. I can't even remember how many hours were slaved away in the bathroom back in the states. But coming here and using my hand has made the whole process much quicker and I don't kill an entire forest in one sitting. My hand is still clean and i'm still here after 7 months of doing it. I go to hotels when I am out of site and the toilet paper actually kind of hurts now. I feel much more cleaner in the process also... weird huh? The only problem is when my nails are not cut all the way and shit... literally.. gets stuck in there. Hey... this is cambodia though... theres much grosser things than wiping your ass with your hand. These people don't have another option and I am all for reaching down there and cleaning house with the hands God gave to you.
Rice for every meal - I have literally eaten rice with every lunch and dinner for the past 7 months. It's definitely a first that has done a number on my bowel movements and cravings. I used to hate eating rice for every meal. The thought of it drove me sick, but over the weeks I grew to enjoy it. I am now at the point where I have been for months. I crave that warm steaming bowl of rice and that first spoonful of white fluffy goodness. The steam fills my mouth and for a moment I think of nothing other than that spoonful of rice. There are times when my mom uses rice from the previous meal and I get a bowl full of cold rice, but when its warm and steaming I can't help but salivate at the very thought of that rice spoon filling my mouth with hot rice. Does that make me Asian?
Independence like never before - I like to think college was my growing up period where I became a young adult and became independent from the bubble put over me by my parents, but no... college was not that. I was never really truly independent till I came here and it feels good. Everything I do here us up to me and the successes and failures of day to day events are based on what I do and say. I have grown in many ways, but now is not the time to dive into that swimming pool.
Burning trash - Cambodia has no public trash collection system so people either burn it or throw it out the window into the yard. Everyday I get blasted with this putrid smoke filled with plastic and who knows what else. I used to be really paranoid about breathing in smoke from plastics, but I am so used to it nowadays it dowsn't even bother me. I try not to breath in when going through a really thick billowing smoke but its inevitable in this country.
Houses with no windows! - My houses along with most other Cambodian homes are not really enclosed spaces like they are in America. Homes in the states are literally seperating people from the elements and at times yes... that is a good thing.. but I can remember days when all I would breath was central air. Here.. my house doesn't even have glass or screens for windows. There are simply bars and shutters and I am breathing all natural air 24/7. While that is not always a good thing, life does smell a little sweeter here. I feel much more alive breathing in mother nature at her best instead of that purified crap that circulates throughout homes in America.
Cold?... whats that? - I haven't been cold in around 10 months... including those I spent in America and I can say that is definitely a first for the books. I have worn shorts everyday since coming here and it is weird reading how there is 2 feet of snow on the ground at home and temps in the single digits while I am sitting here sweating my ass off just to peel an orange. It gets overwhelming at times and I like seasons but I am loving living in the tropics at the moment. Here's a big woooot for living 11 degrees away from the equator!

Alright... its bed time in the Bode. I'm sure I have more I could write about but today I taught two lessons, had 3 meetings, worked on health stuff, and helped teach a private class. I've been going since 5am and now its time to hit my nice "firm" peace corps mattress and fall asleep to the wedding music playing down the street. Night y'all

Found My Way

I finally have started to do what I came here for and I am fulfilling that image of what I thought being a volunteer was going to be like. I have been loving life for the past 5 or so months and rarely go to bed at night without a smile on my face. I love my host family and the community I was put in... everything is simply too good to be true. I have prospects of traveling to far away lands in the future I never thought possible and the next year and a half is looking to be the best yet. One thing has been missing from that though... my work at the health center and my position as a health volunteer in the community.

I haven't been talking with people about health for a variety of reasons. They seem very stand-offish and apprehensive to talk to me when they come into the health center. They are either intimidated by my skin and status as a foreigner or I believed they thought that what I had to say was completely pointless and meaningless. Cambodian people are some of the most friendly Asians you can ever meet, but when they come into that health center I get a very different impression of them and it is not one that is inviting and eager to talk. I could never bring myself to start conversing with people about issues such as sanitation, nutrition, and disease prevention out of fear that they would think it ridiculous that I lecture on such trivial issues. I also didn't know nearly enough vocabulary until recently so I also had this fear that they would start talking and I would not know what they are saying. These factors kept me at bay until one day 2 weeks ago where I just went at it and started talking.

Sine then I literally talk to every single person that walks into my health center. I give speeches on proper nutrition, vitamins, sanitation, and disease prevention. I created a number station for my health center so everyone who enters has to pick a number for one of the three areas of service and wait according to when he or she arrived. This allows the doctor to not be bombarded with patients who are vying for a spot up front as close as they can to the doctor, but creates a more private environment that allows the patient to disclose more of what is wrong with them which in turn allows for a better assessment from the doctor's point of view. This also allows me to talk with people because they are now no longer worried about their spot in line and are much more relaxed while waiting for their number to be called, which gives me the opportunity to dive in and start talking about health. While sitting at my number station right in front of the entrance, I now talk with everybody about issues I feel they may be suffering from and ways to improve their health. I casually talk with mothers about what proper nutrition is for their kids and what they should do to encourage healthy eating habits. I talk with kids about what foods they eat and what healthy foods do for them. I talk about sanitation and the proper way to wash hands. The topics go on and on and I have a bunch in my head that are just waiting for me to put it on paper and practice.

I also started going out into the community on my bike to places where I previously was afraid of dogs. The canines of Cambodia are some of the most fierce in any 3rd world country and for a while I was afraid of getting bit so I didn't venture out into my surrounding villages. Recently I have gotten over that fear and now the dogs don't scare me one bit. If they start to chase me I simply get off my bike and act like a maniac by screaming and throwing things at them until they leave me alone. Its worked so far so here's to a year and a half more without a dog bite! Now that I have gotten out into the rural parts of my community I am meeting a whole different set of people. There are kids everywhere out there, playing with sticks and stones and peeing left and right. I have been finding them and start casually talking with them. I figure if I go around and talk to them enough they will start to be comfortable enough with me to allow me to start discussing health with them. They are always interested in the white guy showing up on my bike and chatting up about this and that. The villages around my community no longer intimidate me and I am finding it rather easy to talk to these people. They generally seem very interested in what I have to say and suprisingly they are much more in the dark about many issues I just assumed they knew about. Going around on my bike and talking to random Cambodians about health is something that makes me smile every time and I cant wait to do more in this area by maybe starting health clubs or parenting clubs in these remote villages.

One other thing I have started is teaching at the local high school. After months of waiting for the director to make up his mind, I met with him again and he finally agreed to let me teach. He told me I was to start teaching the next week and he left the meeting without telling me the day, the age group of the kids, and whether or not they spoke any English. So I prepared a lesson on nutrition and the 3 food groups, whats in them, and why they are important, and planned on speaking the entire lesson in Khmer. I was semi-nervous about this for the fact that they could easily not understand a word I say and it be a complete failure. I went to the school on a day I thought best and was led to a classroom where the teacher was told to stop and I was told to start teaching haha. I went through the lesson with such energy and charisma that these kids were blown away I feel. They normally don't get that kind of energy from their teachers here and we really hit it off from the beginning. They were all laughing and volunteering and listening to everything I said which I couldn't have been happier about. The lesson went off without a hitch and the best part about it was they understood everything I was trying to say. I didn't need help at all and I feel as though many of them took away something from the lesson. I now have a date at that school to teach a class every Thursday and I am now looking into the primary schools to give health lessons to. Eventually I would like to be teaching 3 days a week and maybe a Saturday here and there.

My 5pm classes are still going strong. I go to one of several private schools every night at 5pm and help out with pronunciation and vocabulary... aka... teach them. I have been seeing these several groups of kids every night for the past 5 months and many of us have been growing into really good friends. I always enjoy going and chatting with these kids before class starts and then helping them through the lesson with their difficulties in pronouncing words. They never fail to make me laugh and no matter what happens throughout the day, I always leave these lessons in a good mood. I see many of them on the streets throughout the day and it is at the point where I will start talking with them whenever I see them. The kids are great and its nice to have such a large group of people I am friendly with. I don't feel like an outsider anymore and that is largely due to this wonderful group of friend I have formed over the past 6 months at site. Anywhere I go the people say "Hi Chris!" or "Hi Teacher!". There is this overwhelming sense of belonging to the community I now feel and it is something I feel any Peace Corps volunteer strives to obtain.

All of this, plus my work in the health center, plus my awesome family and community are making this an experience that is life changing in a very enjoyable and positive way. I feel like I am finally being useful and I couldn't be happier with the way things are going. There are still those wtf moments where something goes wrong, I see a spider or insect the size of my face, get canceled on by someone at the last moment, cant understand a word somebody is saying, or other general frustrations of working in this country. The roads are dangerous and the heat is every bit overwhelming as it was when I stepped off that plain, but the things I am doing here and the experiences that make up every day are just too awesome to make me do anything other than smile and think to myself how lucky I am to be here. I finally feel like I have found my way, and after a couple hard months at working to get here, it was definitely worth it.

Life is Short

So after Cambodia decided to block this website for a while, I'm back on and ready to post more blogs about my sweet adventures in the bode!

I was going to talk about whats happened in the past month, since this country never fails to provide a surprise around every corner, but the events of today are the only thing in my head at the moment and I need to let it out before going into detail about anything else.

The morning was crazy... we had over 100 patients in about 2 hours at the health center and I could do nothing other than man the number station I have set up, handing out numbers to either vaccination, pregnancy checkups, or consultation. I was exhausted after my 3 hours of work and headed home to a wonderful lunch of fish soup in fish sauce... which was very "fishy" in many ways. After lunch one of my friends from the village informed me of an accident outside her house so I hopped on my bike to see what all the commotion was about. I arrived at one of the most horrible sites I have ever seen up close. A rubber plantation truck collided head on with a van, killing the passengers of the van. There was barely anything left of the van... and it was mangled in ways metal should not be. This accident happened in literally the center of my village on the national highway and hordes of people were gathered around the scene, vying for a spot up front to see the carnage first hand. I was curious for some reason to see the front of the car, that being said, I was under the impression the people had been taking out of what was left of the front of the van. Apparently the driver had been removed and taking away, but as I was moving up front they pried off the passenger side door and yep, the passenger fell out. I couldn't immediately see what it was, but as the crowd parted for a moment I saw what became of that passenger and that sight is something I hope to never see unless in a hospital.

I wont go into details about what the person looked like, but regardless of how mangled he was, what struck me the most was how people were reacting. The entire village was crammed just feet away from this body and they were all gawking at it like an art exhibit. Since it happened right outside the wat, the monks were even staring at it. The fumes from the spilled fuel, the blood everywhere, the person lying on the ground with parts missing, and the scene of tangles metal all were too much for me to handle so I took off on my bike, ignoring my parents who were also gawking at it, and made it home before I broke down.

In America, most people would prefer not to see such things and are simply terrified at the prospect of looking at a dead body. I have seen many pictures of dead people, have been to funerals here and there, and have even ventured into the human dissection room of a medical school, but the scenes from today overwhelmed me alot to the point where I was questioning whether I could see things like that as an ER doctor. Cambodians however seem to be missing that part in their brain where such things are just wrong to gawk at. This is a very intrusive country like I have said countless times, and they will never willingly miss out on a chance to see something different from daily life, whether it is a person moving into a house in town, painting of lines on the road, or a fatal accident. They have to see see see and don't think that maybe its a tad disrespectful to the deceased to clamber over each other simply to stare at something that quite frankly shouldn't be stared at. When I was around the accident people were literally pushing to see the dead person on the ground. It was like a penn state football game when students used o push their way to the front of the line. I was at first disgusted at how people simply had no remorse or sadness for this young adult laying on the ground in such a sad state. I just can't put it into perspective how it simply has no effect on them other than to get as close as they can to the action. How is an entire society that immune to such a sight? How can they not feel/show sadness at the thought that their families are never going to be whole again, and each was leaving behind loved ones that now have to grieve over their loss? Then it occurred to me that these people have had such a rough life and seen things like this so frequently that they have become desensitized to tragedy and death. This society definitely deals with death much differently than the US. Instead of being afraid of the dead in human form, many are actually afraid of the ghosts that now roam the village until the funeral. People are much more terrified of the misty impressions humans supposedly leave on earth than by blood and mangled bodies. Again, it is something I just accept as a difference and will try to take it in stride from now on.

What became my second round of shock was due to the realization that that could all too easily have been me or any of my fellow peace corps volunteers. Roads are just plain scary around here and any day something like this could happen to a friend or host family member. I felt vulnerable and jumpy anytime a car passed me today. They barrel down the road, thinking that a honk of the horn allows them the privilege to speed on roads that should not be taken so care free. I don't think they ever consider the consequences that can possibly ensue from driving at those speeds on the opposite side of the road at times. The van today was passing another vehicle and just went right into the other lane without a care in the world and unfortunately a truck was barreling the opposite direction. Nobody... and I mean NOBODY thinks to use some common sense when driving on the roads.When I am riding my bike I have to always be looking far out in front of me because cars and trucks simply drive on the opposite side of the road. They will pass people on hills and around sharp corners, with not a care in the world as to what might be coming around the corner on the opposite side of the road. Buses are the worse because they know nothing is going to get in their way so instead of waiting for the road to straighten out while they pass a car, they jut out into the opposite lane and make cars coming in the opposite direction veer off the road to make way for the large bus speeding towards them. I am terrified to ever get in another vehicle after today and definitely don't plan on riding in a van anytime in the near future.

All this brings me to the title. Life is short. Theres no getting around that one. We are on this earth for the blink of an eye and if anything, the events of today have made me appreciate the fact that I was able to live another day in the face of so much..... shit. I always try to make the most of my days, and thats not to say I never give myself rest because I can be quite lazy in hot Cambodian afternoons. I do what I can do and live each day as though I have this amazing gift I have been blessed with. After seeing stuff like this it makes me much less likely to complain about things rather than cherish what I have. There is simply not enough time on this Earth to do everything I have in mind, but I'm going to try my hardest to do as much as I can with as much passion as I can muster. I just hope and pray that others out there read this and realize how awesome life is. It is not something to be taken lightly and given what we are given we almost have a responsibility to those who were not blessed to make as much out of it as we can.

So after having a pretty so so dinner and falling off my bike, it is time to say goodnight and hope that the sun shine tomorrow brings a much happier day to Cambodia. Peace.